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Politically incorrect. I feel it... I say it.
Monday, August 30, 2004
I'm trying to better myself, educate myself. Even though I'm perfect already :D.I have read The Hobbit, all the Lord of the Ring books, watched the films and I do believe you need to do both. The Oliphant scenes were AMAZING. But although I am reading War and Peace, I am also watching all the Nightmare on Elm Street films. I feel they are no less classic. Forgive me, I forget the authors name, but I am reading a book by the author, yes author, of Fight Club. Diary or somthing it is called. A pissed off wife who writes a diary while her husband is in a coma. It's funny, but it sounds like Fight Club. So all credit to the directer of the Fight Club film.
I'm annoyed with my Dad. Yes, the Dad that died Jan 1, 1997. I've seen him in dreams and he has been sending me a message that I DO NOT want to hear. But I am strong enough to ignore it. What I do not like is the fact that he has been upsetting my Mum by sending her the same dream without me mentioning to her what I saw. LEAVE HER ALONE WE ARE NOT INTERESTED. Please.
I'm annoyed with my Dad. Yes, the Dad that died Jan 1, 1997. I've seen him in dreams and he has been sending me a message that I DO NOT want to hear. But I am strong enough to ignore it. What I do not like is the fact that he has been upsetting my Mum by sending her the same dream without me mentioning to her what I saw. LEAVE HER ALONE WE ARE NOT INTERESTED. Please.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Not that I've been watching SpongeBob on Nickelodeon, but I think adults should probably be aware of the adverts that are being aimed at their kids. First up was 'Baby Born', which is basically a bald plastic kid (God, I hate dolls), which has seven real life skills. These include crying when you crush it's forearm. We are then treated to a shot of the thing projectile pissing and although not specified in the advert, this is probably achieved when punching it in the guts.
Another advert featured a talking donkey, which you had to pin the tail on. When you get it wrong it yells 'Does that LOOK like my butt?? I don't think so!'
Mind you it's not nearly as bad as some of the rubbish being beamed at us every day. Just a quick flick around the old Sky menu on this Sunday afternoon reveals 'Can you pull...Britney?' where a demented fan gets to chat up a star, only the star just thinks it's an interview, which let's face it is probably what it will end up being. Other favourits include, How Gay are you?
There is also a new channel called Bonanza, which plays old reruns of The Beverly Hilbillies....... and Bonanza.
Another advert featured a talking donkey, which you had to pin the tail on. When you get it wrong it yells 'Does that LOOK like my butt?? I don't think so!'
Mind you it's not nearly as bad as some of the rubbish being beamed at us every day. Just a quick flick around the old Sky menu on this Sunday afternoon reveals 'Can you pull...Britney?' where a demented fan gets to chat up a star, only the star just thinks it's an interview, which let's face it is probably what it will end up being. Other favourits include, How Gay are you?
There is also a new channel called Bonanza, which plays old reruns of The Beverly Hilbillies....... and Bonanza.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
The dog is schemeing against me. Don't tell me I'm paranoid, he IS. Louis (Lucifer) Ignatious is like a mix between Brian from Family Guy and the Queen's favourite corgi. He's a Saluki, Arabian Greyhound, the choice of Arabian nobility and one of the oldest breeds known to man. He doesn't get off the sofa for less than a sirloin steak (medium rare).
I *think* he likes me. or maybe it's just because I feed him smoked salmon and pastrami slices. But I have had the feeling for a while that he has had his eye on my bedroom for when I move out and now I have the proof. 'Parently mother dear wakes up (Louis sleeps on the *cough* floor in her room), HRH walks into Danielle's room as he does each morning and greets her with a kiss, or is it just that he wipes his nose on her face, while she's sleeping. She's been sleeping on a mattress in her room for nearly 2 years because it's taken her that long to decorate her room. I digress.
As mater walks down the stairs expecting him to follow, Miss Thang saunters into my bedroom and steps coolly onto my bed and lies down. According to reports when my sister and mum came to see, his expression was one of 'what are you gawping at you peasants'.
Danielle moodily commented, as she does, that I had probably let him up there before. Yah, maybe I did, but I had just had a row with Eric, and Louis, unlike Reuben, prostitutes his love for a compfy bed rather than screaming to be let out after 30 seconds. So there I was, sat on the floor on my laptop on IRC. And okay, maybe when I was done on the interweb at 2am I still just wanted his company and 'cause he is the size of a small horse when I crawled onto the bed he was taking up most of it and he kicked me during the night, but you know what, I was just glad to have someone around.
Louis was found as a stray in Southampton. Stray/Louis, doesn't sound right. I think his previous owner pissed him off and he said 'screw you, I'm outta here' or he killed him and was on the run. Middle class crime is rife nowadays.
I *think* he likes me. or maybe it's just because I feed him smoked salmon and pastrami slices. But I have had the feeling for a while that he has had his eye on my bedroom for when I move out and now I have the proof. 'Parently mother dear wakes up (Louis sleeps on the *cough* floor in her room), HRH walks into Danielle's room as he does each morning and greets her with a kiss, or is it just that he wipes his nose on her face, while she's sleeping. She's been sleeping on a mattress in her room for nearly 2 years because it's taken her that long to decorate her room. I digress.
As mater walks down the stairs expecting him to follow, Miss Thang saunters into my bedroom and steps coolly onto my bed and lies down. According to reports when my sister and mum came to see, his expression was one of 'what are you gawping at you peasants'.
Danielle moodily commented, as she does, that I had probably let him up there before. Yah, maybe I did, but I had just had a row with Eric, and Louis, unlike Reuben, prostitutes his love for a compfy bed rather than screaming to be let out after 30 seconds. So there I was, sat on the floor on my laptop on IRC. And okay, maybe when I was done on the interweb at 2am I still just wanted his company and 'cause he is the size of a small horse when I crawled onto the bed he was taking up most of it and he kicked me during the night, but you know what, I was just glad to have someone around.
Louis was found as a stray in Southampton. Stray/Louis, doesn't sound right. I think his previous owner pissed him off and he said 'screw you, I'm outta here' or he killed him and was on the run. Middle class crime is rife nowadays.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I'm getting old. I am still the right side of 30, right side of 29 even. I'm getting old. You know how kids under 10 are better at programing the VCR than adults? Well, we have two new doors and I'll be damned if I can open either one of them in under 10 mins. I've had intermediate lessons in door openage. I should have the letters Dip (Door) after the numerous letters after my name. Basically to open the door from the outside is a whole different story from opening on the inside. Gosh let's see if I remember this. To get out break glass. No no, to open twist then lift then twist back BUT DON'T LIFT AND TWIST AT THE SAME TIME OR YOU'LL BREAK IT. £850 worth on breakage btw. Outside is twist and press down (not up) and twist and then lift and then twist back a quarter.
This is now what insurance companies expect us all to have. Fine if not even the resedents can get in, but on a more serious note; what if we need to get out.
For those of you concerned that I have given you all open seseme to my house: a) you need a key b) the above is probably totally wrong. Wish me luck. At least banging on the door tends to rouse people.
Thought of the day: if you have SKY there is garanteed to be at least one TV programme on Hitler at any one time.
This is now what insurance companies expect us all to have. Fine if not even the resedents can get in, but on a more serious note; what if we need to get out.
For those of you concerned that I have given you all open seseme to my house: a) you need a key b) the above is probably totally wrong. Wish me luck. At least banging on the door tends to rouse people.
Thought of the day: if you have SKY there is garanteed to be at least one TV programme on Hitler at any one time.
Monday, August 16, 2004
I've just had a week off, and a good week it was too. I saw a Dali exhibition, went to the V&A had a few BBQs, had proper fish and chips and did a small small bit of DIY. But the time has come to go back to work. I am depressed, had almost forgotten what it was like to be treated like a second class citizen :( . Perhaps I need to take 2 weeks next time. There's got to be more to life than this. Answers on a postcard.
Random acts of kindness part 1:
So I'm in Waitrose in Mill Hill with Eric and we are paying. The check out lady is a 50ish muslim woman with traditional head dress. Suddenly she turns to Eric and asks him how he managed to get such a pretty girlfriend. I nearly fell over. What does he say? 'It's because of my tongue'. (Okay, English translation: It's because of the lines I use etc etc). She turns to me, 'so it's his tongue is it? You didn't want to go for money or anything like that?'
I dunno it kinda made me laugh. Eric thought she was trying to make out he was ugly. Yeah whatever.
Kitchen update: Contents of rice cooker has developed mold, am frightened of left over mushy peas in pan which has been covered in water. Old corned beef still in fridge. safety Code orange.
Random acts of kindness part 1:
So I'm in Waitrose in Mill Hill with Eric and we are paying. The check out lady is a 50ish muslim woman with traditional head dress. Suddenly she turns to Eric and asks him how he managed to get such a pretty girlfriend. I nearly fell over. What does he say? 'It's because of my tongue'. (Okay, English translation: It's because of the lines I use etc etc). She turns to me, 'so it's his tongue is it? You didn't want to go for money or anything like that?'
I dunno it kinda made me laugh. Eric thought she was trying to make out he was ugly. Yeah whatever.
Kitchen update: Contents of rice cooker has developed mold, am frightened of left over mushy peas in pan which has been covered in water. Old corned beef still in fridge. safety Code orange.
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Last night saw the start of the 2004 Olympics in Athens. Did I watch the ceremony? Not much, I was down't pub. Yeah you know, that place where it costs £6.10 for a double G&T. For those of you who know me I am still smarting from the fact that when I was on holiday in Ghana in January I was able to buy 70cl of local gin for a mere 50p. Grumble grumble.
Yes, the Olympics. Deep down, I think everyone has the dream to win something at Olympic level, but doing what?. Well, there are a lot more sports represented than you might think, or that are indeed televised. As I watched the news this AM I heard that the first gold had gone to China for 'Air Rifle shooting'. Hmm one thought to oneself, I'm sure I could do that, infact I can see the gold going to Master Nate Doggy Whoopass of South Central USA for that one. Well you know what I mean. Other sports of note include Badminton, Water Polo, Archary and Taekwondo.
I don't think I'll be sleeping with the news on for a while. Thanks to News 24 I dreamt about fighting and shooting (Iraq) with Aliens (?) and being evacuated (Florida storms). There was also some iritating bloke who kept singing. Not been able to work that one out yet.
I've got that irritating song going round my head from the TV. You know, the one where the sick lady hands out poisoned cola to people on the street with this inane grin on her mush? And like they are just taking it like it's free Coke or something?!?
Eric's melon collection has grown to 4, his cashew nut collection to 5 and his grape collection also stands at 5 (bunches), but I have been banned from asking my mum to stop buying them.
Odd things in his fridge: a tuperware container full of week old chillie salsa, some week old corned beef two loaves of moldy bread and some suspect fish pate, date of birth unknown. Fridge safety code: orange.
Yes, the Olympics. Deep down, I think everyone has the dream to win something at Olympic level, but doing what?. Well, there are a lot more sports represented than you might think, or that are indeed televised. As I watched the news this AM I heard that the first gold had gone to China for 'Air Rifle shooting'. Hmm one thought to oneself, I'm sure I could do that, infact I can see the gold going to Master Nate Doggy Whoopass of South Central USA for that one. Well you know what I mean. Other sports of note include Badminton, Water Polo, Archary and Taekwondo.
I don't think I'll be sleeping with the news on for a while. Thanks to News 24 I dreamt about fighting and shooting (Iraq) with Aliens (?) and being evacuated (Florida storms). There was also some iritating bloke who kept singing. Not been able to work that one out yet.
I've got that irritating song going round my head from the TV. You know, the one where the sick lady hands out poisoned cola to people on the street with this inane grin on her mush? And like they are just taking it like it's free Coke or something?!?
Eric's melon collection has grown to 4, his cashew nut collection to 5 and his grape collection also stands at 5 (bunches), but I have been banned from asking my mum to stop buying them.
Odd things in his fridge: a tuperware container full of week old chillie salsa, some week old corned beef two loaves of moldy bread and some suspect fish pate, date of birth unknown. Fridge safety code: orange.
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